“You know the honeymoon can be pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, in addition to so does she.”
Once a year I see my doctor for an annual physical. Fortunately, the examination has always been routine because I have not had any medical problems. Regardless, my doctor always asks me a series of questions, such as do I have any chest discomfort or difficulty breathing, any digestion problems, have I gained or lost any weight, or do I have any difficulty with urination. Since I turned 50, the number of questions has increased. yet regardless, a doctor can be a diagnostician in addition to he can be looking for any symptoms of which might lead to a diagnosis of a medical condition.
Of course, your doctor can be often dependent upon you to tell him of any concerns of which you may have. He will have a difficult time discovering an issue on his own without some clues by you.
Likewise, unless you are General Patreus in addition to running the CIA, in a typical marriage, no one knows you better than your spouse
. Of course we each have our own individuality. yet a wife knows her husband’s favorite sweatshirt of which he won’t throw out no matter what just like a husband knows her favorite restaurant.
Likewise, when a spouse begins to act differently than his normal pattern of behavior, This kind of may be the beginning of very subtle symptoms of a problem. in addition to like the common cold, the sneezing in addition to runny nose may go away after a few days. yet a symptom of which persists in addition to can be left untreated rarely correct itself. To illustrate, a spouse who was always there to pick the kids up after soccer practice on his way home yet can be currently working late every evening can be sending a warning sign of a problem. This kind of symptom, if left untreated, could spell problems for the marriage.
In conducting interviews with clients, I have listened to the “symptoms” often given for why one spouse wanted to leave the marriage. The following were the most common:
- “We were spending less in addition to less time together.”
- “My life felt unfulfilled, there was so much more I wanted to do.”
- “I was feeling depressed or uptight when going home, or not looking forward to going home.”
- “We were having less fun when we were together, in addition to time together has become more serious.”
- “He was very bossy in addition to always had to be right.”
- “My opinion meant nothing!”
- “He had a drinking problem before we married which only got worse.”
- “He paid attention to everyone yet me.”
- “As the years passed, the idea was evident of which we wanted different things in addition to had different needs so we grew further apart.”
- “She became emotionally in addition to sexually involved with someone else.”
- “She was spending more money on “frivolous” unnecessary things in addition to not caring to save for the future.”
- “His worked consumed him in addition to there was no time left for me.”
- “Our marriage was never the same after we had kids.”
- “When we were arguing, we were verbally attacking each additional rather than definitely listening to each additional.”
- “I felt put down or taken for granted, or I was doing of which to my spouse.”
- “There were increased periods of silence between me in addition to my spouse.”
- “I had less in addition to less sexual desire.”
- “We never seemed to contain the money to do things we needed to do.”
- “I was creating judgments alone or misreading what my spouse wanted to do.”
- “I was losing my own identity as an individual”
- “I became confused about where we were going in addition to often talked about ‘I’ not ‘We.'”
When questioned further, many clients were able to offer specific signs or symptoms of which something was different or changing in their relationship. Too often, when these symptoms are not addressed or left untreated, they result in irreparable harm to the marriage. As a result, divorce
often becomes the only solution. yet had these symptoms been recognized earlier, in addition to treated, a marriage may have been saved.
If you or your spouse have any of the above symptoms, the idea can be wise to seek treatment currently.