Certainly not a pin wants to end a marriage with divorce, but you need to know the following nine Terrible things before divorce so you won’t be surprised later.
1. Even if you want a divorce, feelings of sadness, loss, and anxiety still appear
Many people are divorced, not ready for life changes. Divorce is not only the loss of marriage ties, but also other relationships in life such as ex-husband / wife’s family, friends, and limited time meeting children.
You know you will find a new life after divorce. But to achieve this there was a sense of sadness, loss, and anxiety of solitude.
2. Divorce does not mean that all problems are resolved
After the divorce, the person may still be in a relationship with an ex-wife / husband. For example in discussing meetings with children. Sometimes, agreement is hard to come by so that it can upset and upset.
Letting it pass is necessary. Yes, it takes time to be more willing to accept this.
3. When divorce papers are signed, there are still many other things that need to be resolved
After being legally divorced, it’s time to heal the heart from the emotional symptoms of marriage. And learn from the problems of marriage as valuable provisions in the next relationship.
Anis also said that one’s confidence after divorce needed to be encouraged. “It’s important to find out who I am, what I like, and what makes me happy. To be able to answer this question takes time, but it will be a pleasant journey.
4. Children don’t express their feelings, but are seen from their behavior
If you already have children, divorce certainly has a big impact on your baby. Perhaps the children did not express feelings of divorce, but were seen from their behavior. Like wanting to sleep with you, fight, or show signs of depression.
“Try talking to the child what he is thinking and feeling on an ongoing basis,” Fuer said.
5. Don’t rush through the divorce process
At the time of the divorce process there will be many tough decisions that will be passed. No need to rush to decide because it can be thought with emotion.
6. May lose friends
At times like this, many people expect the support of friends. It is possible, friends who are considered close do not provide support. This could be because people believe that divorce can be ‘transmitted’ to other people. But do not worry, there is also a possibility that people who are considered not too close come to provide support.
7. Vacation feels sad
After busy having tiring days and divorce proceedings, the vacation will be fun. However, in the holidays of the first years after divorce, it will feel gray because of the absence of people who are used to being with you.
8. Keeping words so as not to talk bad things about the ex in front of children
Divorce arises because there are problems that cannot be solved. Various bad temperament ex-spouse could be the cause. However, don’t talk about the ugliness of the ex in front of the children. Supposedly, children have the opportunity to love both parents.
9. Don’t rush to build relationships again
Children are not ready to see one of their parents having a new relationship. In addition, people who are just undergoing divorce must also do things for themselves so that they know what the new person wants.
“At least one year after divorce can establish closeness with new people,” said Anis.